August 2, 2002

1. Tell us a funny story about Tim, pretty please? (Or embarrassing, embarrassing is good....)

Well, I dont really like to drag my good friends through the... well, okay. When Tim and I were at the O'Neill Theatre Center attending the National Theatre Institute in the fall of 198buh-duh-buh-dum Tim was having a problem with demons. No, not like psychotic ex-girlfriends (that's MY territory) but actual demons. The grounds of the O'Neill are haunted. I myself was "ghosted" there. Tim lived in a shed-like structure on the grounds of the O'Neill and I lived in a quaint little farmhouse with a room on the first floor just off the front porch. Seems there was a tiny hole in the screen of the window in Tim's room and, according to Tim, demons were coming in in the middle of the night and terrorizing him. One night at around 3:15 AM, Tim woke with a start and an overwhelming sense of danger and a voice in his head telling him to "Get out. NOW!" So he ran over to the Farmhouse. Now, coincidently, I had awoke around the same time BROILING, 'cause the radiators in the house were set to "Fricassee". So, I had to get up and crack open the window by the foot of my bed and put my pillow down at that end so I could breathe and stop sweating. It's usually hard for me to get back to sleep after I've been awakened in the middle of the night. Now here comes Tim tearing over to the Farmhouse tap-tap-tapping on my window trying to wake me and not my roommate. He's expecting to have to tap for a little while, instead after just one round of tapping, I open the curtain, poke my head out of the window, wide-awake and say "Whats up?" as if, in his mind, I'd been waiting for him all along. This, of course only freaks him out more and he goes running off into the night convinced that I am possessed by the demon.

I may be making up the end of the story. It was a long time ago. But running away screaming is always my favorite comedy ending to a situation.

2. What are your three all time favorite movies? Anything current that is a "must see" to you?

Well, as I've said I have such trouble with "favorites" lists, as there are different favorites for different occasions, moods, lunar cycles, etc. But I'll give you some that star three of my favorite actors:

Jimmy Stewart: "ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE" and "MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON"

Jack Lemmon: "SOME LIKE IT HOT" and "DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES"

Peter Sellars: "BEING THERE", "LOLITA" and "DR. STRANGELOVE"

As far as whats out now, "Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN" is the big winner and I really liked "THE KID STAYS IN THE PICTURE."

3. Are you politically active?

What is this? Some kind of McCarthy era inquisition? I mean, I vote, I have my opinions... what do you want from me? wont name names if that's what you're getting at. I only attended "those meetings" to meet girls. Give me a break <>

4. What do you miss most from the old days? You know, when none of us here was acquainted with you in a naked way?

I miss having people look me in the eye when the meet me instead of looking at my crotch like they do now.

5. If you could have any superpower what would it be and why?

The superpowers that Scott Baio had in "ZAPPED!" If you even need to ask why, go rent the movie. God, it was SO COOL!!!!!

6. Say you've just won a MacArthur Genius Grant for the John Wilkes Booth play. hat would you do with the money?

Well, first I'd use some of it to legally have the title, "Super Genius" added to the end of my name (much like Wile E. Coyote did). Then I'd give whatever was left over to whatever candidate ends up facing "Double-Yuh" in the next election. It is, after all, the responsibility of geniuses everywhere to battle morons wherever they may be. Does that answer your question, #3?

7. What one thing, more than anything else, do you hope to accomplish in your lifetime?

To give my future family a stable and happy life.

8. What, exactly, did you have to do for your audition? Read from the script? Since you were cast first, did they have you read with actors being considered for the other roles?

Yeah, I had one audition just for the extraordinary, original casting directors for QAF, Linda Lowy and John Brace, in Linda's tiny office. I read 2 scenes from the pilot, the one with "Michael" in Babylon where he tells "Ted" to find someone more like - you know - himself and the scene in the street where "Ted" tells "Michael" that the chance of a guy named "Blake" actually liking a guy named "Ted" is in the .05 percentile. They had a little camera on me and John sat to the side of the camera reading "Michaels" lines. Pretty standard stuff. Well, they thought I was a pretty good loser so they had me come back a day or so later and this time joining Linda and John in the teeny office, crammed together on a little sofa were Dan Lipman, Ron Cowen and Tony Jonas. I did the same scenes for them. They thought I was a really good loser so a week or so later they had me come back to test for the Showtime execs. This involves negotiating your "deal" ahead of time and signing the 6-year contract (and nudity waivers) just before you go in the room to audition (so you know JUST how much you stand to lose if you blow the audition). A nerve-wracking experience. But it was 8 AM and I was too tired to let any of it really affect me. Besides, I had just met Peter Paige sitting out in the hall and we were already joking around with each other. So I went into what is essentially a conference room with a big table in it. The Showtime executives along with Dan and Ron and Tony sat at one end of the table and standing way at the other end of the table I did the same two scenes. Well they thought I was the BIGGEST loser in Hollywood so I got the part. That was that. Everyone else went through at least one more round of casting before they landed the roles I guess. So listen up, kids, if you're going to be a loser, be the BEST loser you can be.

9. With a plethora of various staff/actors/extras on location, I'm just curious if Showtime also staffs medical personnel in case of any injuries or if this is all handled by local hospitals/clinics in the Toronto area.

Are you looking for work, Doc? We've got nearby hospitals for emergencies and a doctor for other stuff. I had to use him at the start of last season - but thats a story for another time.

10. When do you start filming season three?

September 26th is our start date at this point.

11. If you could choose one old movie to re-make and star in, what would it be?

Any of Adam Sandler's movies. Since he's been so disrespectful as to piss all over the classic Gary Cooper flick "MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN" I'd like to return the favor... Oh, wait pissing on pieces of sh#t wouldn't really make much of a statement now would it. Hmmm. Well, let me think it over then.

12. What's the best advice ever given to you?

My mom said to me just a few years ago when I was stressing over a feeling I had that I was "put here for a purpose" and I wasnt fulfilling my potential: "Maybe you're here for no greater purpose than to affect the lives of the people who you affect every day. That's more than enough. Just keep doing that." That calmed me down.